Tim and Marc, sitting in a tree….

You know how the rest of that nursery rhyme goes.

But do we really know how it started? How did my boyfriend and bandmate begin their bromance? I am unsure, but lets retrace some of the clues I’ve gathered and see if we can make sense from all of this.

The Dregs take part in the Siouxland Renaissance Festival every summer. We usually carpool because it makes a long drive entertaining and then we hold each other accountable. In a video I recorded, we were momentarily stopped by a hail storm. Tim calls out to Marc in defiance of the rest of us to ‘do this’. Do this. Look at the loving way Tim is looking at Marc.

common Marc, let's do you
common Marc, let’s do you

Later on that evening after we arrive in Sioux Falls, we feasted upon dead bodies at the Carnaval Brazilian Grill. Actually, that was everyone else. I just had a salad and secretly beamed at my vegetarian superiority. HOWEVER, we took a group photo and you can see for yourself the horror.

Tim and Marc enjoying a special kind of meat
Tim and Marc enjoying a special kind of meat

WHY IS TIM SO CLOSE TO MARC’S SHOULDER? WHERE IS MARC’S OTHER HAND? These questions burn my soul when I lay awake in the darkness of the night, plotting revenge.

But there is the proof in written word as well. You can see for yourself this soap opera unfolding.

is this humor or poorly disguised LUST
is this humor or poorly disguised LUST?

You could attribute this to Pierre’s idea, but it only gets worse.

A decoy!
A decoy!

Tim never counters the ‘bromance’ comment. It all becomes crystal clear.

Tim will just simply take him... in the butt...
Tim will just simply take him… in the butt…

Others start chiming in about Tim’s insatiable desire for Marc. Such as Eric Knght’s comment, ‘That’s ok, Tim will take him off your hands.’

Soon enough, neither of them can hide their feelings anymore, and it becomes public knowledge that they are more than friends.

subtle isn't Tim's bag
subtle isn’t Tim’s bag

In this status update Tim writes, “Ya know, I really love the Dregs Holiday show. I’m saddened we didn’t sing the song in which I talked about giving Molly’s boyfriend a blow job, though. I was really looking forward to that one. So was he.”

FLAMES. Flaaaaaaames. From the side of my face… breathing… breath-ing… heaving breaths…

So I mean. Whatever. You bitches can have each other, I guess. I’ll go play a sad song on my family’s Zupan accordion.

it's legal now, so hop to it, assholes
it’s legal now, so hop to it, assholes

Bonus! If you come to Denim for Dennis this coming Saturday, you will see these two mock me with their love.