The Token Vegetarian

I ended last week’s blog with a ridiculous picture of a baby bird in a bun. That inspired me to come right out of the spinach-lined closet and just say it. Some of you may already know this,  but I don’t eat meat.

this is my no meat face
this is my no meat face

That’s right kids. I’m a vegetarian. I have been one since 2000, but before that I tried (unsuccessfully) several times since I was about 15. I was unsuccessful because I didn’t know that I needed to take supplements so I wouldn’t become anemic. Because guess what? Humans evolved to eat meat.

Yep, I know we are omnivores. Except my boyfriend, he’s a meat-aholic.

time for a cup of NOPE
time for a cup of NOPE

I’m not a in-your-face-telling-you-how-wrong-you-are-vegetarian. I honestly give two facks if you want to stuff your pie hole with dead critters. That’s *your* business. I also play well with others, as such, I have become the vegetarian you can gibe on facebook and post meaty-meaty pictures on my timeline because I honestly don’t care.

Oh I feign shock. And horror. But I know it’s all in good fun.

you was trollin!
you was trollin!

On a related note, don’t google ‘weird cow pictures’. Just don’t. Unless you want to see a cow ass-peeing into a glass, because man. You can’t unsee that stuff.

I'm tellin ya just say no
I’m tellin ya, just say no