{"id":369,"date":"2014-01-30T13:12:16","date_gmt":"2014-01-30T19:12:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/?p=369"},"modified":"2014-01-30T13:16:43","modified_gmt":"2014-01-30T19:16:43","slug":"mascara-anonymous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/mascara-anonymous\/","title":{"rendered":"My dirty secret; Mascara Anonymous"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have a confession to make.<\/p>\n

I am addicted to make up. And not just any- specifically mascara.<\/p>\n

Okay, here’s how it went down. My mother started putting make up on me when I was about six for fancy family photos. Not even kidding. It was usually blush, lip gloss, … and my old dear friend, mascara.<\/p>\n

\"check<\/a>
check out that smokin seven year old blonde in the back!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once the Regan recession hit us hard, we couldn’t afford fancy studio quality photos, so my mother took to doing her own. She again appointed herself chief makeup artist.<\/p>\n

\"can't<\/a>
can’t tell the difference between my mom’s work and a professional, right?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

(I think my sisters may hunt me down and kill me after this blog. Who cares! Onto victory)<\/p>\n

Looking at that photo… it’s supposed to be a holiday one… I don’t know what’s worse; the make up, that my mom considered purple to be ‘holiday enough’ for me, or my FLY POPPED COLLAR.<\/p>\n

I was in a wedding once. This is what happened:<\/p>\n

\"4th<\/a>
4th grade and the 80s were still goin STRONG<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Well, when I entered middle school at the tender age of ten, my mom actually told me I could wear mascara, in her words, “As long as you don’t look like a whore”. She was such a tactful parent. So I did what any ten year old given enough slack would do! I wore make up to school.<\/p>\n

\"a<\/a>
a perm, oh lord it’s a perm!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

^That’s me in middle school. I don’t look like a whore!<\/p>\n

So years upon years of wearing it, and mascara has become my shield. My armor. My necessity<\/em>. I cannot leave the house without it. Yesterday I got in my car to run a quick errand and in the *chance* someone might look into my car and notice me before I had my shower, I PUT ON MAKE UP.<\/p>\n

\"Seriously.<\/a>
Seriously. My morning is: A) shower, B) HIDE THOSE BLOND EYELASHES ASAP<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So…. the next time you see me at a Dregs show putting on make up… it’s just my addiction, baby. 25 years of something can’t be WRONG!<\/p>\n

\"what?<\/a>
what? a girl being worried about her appearance is period!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a confession to make. I am addicted to make up. And not just any- specifically mascara. Okay, here’s how it went down. My mother started putting make up on me when I was about six for fancy family photos. Not even kidding. It was usually blush, lip gloss, … and my old dear […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":377,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-molly-said","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-image"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/mascara.jpg?fit=1600%2C1211&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=369"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/377"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-dregs.net\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}